Leon and Materia Don't mix
by The Ringbearer Galadriel
Summary: Leon decides to get back at Yuffie for pranking him. But His prank is not as harmless as he thinks it will be. Squiffie
1. Discovery

Leon and Materia Don't Mix

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Disclaimer:…Do I really have to? sigh I guess I don't want Square-Enix to beat down my door and take my playstation so…cry I DON'T OWN KINGDOM HEARTS!! Or any characters, items, or objects associated with it.

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Key- "The"-talking

'_the'-thinking_

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Chapter One: Discovery

SLAM! A door was flung violently open by a certain female ninja. She raced into the hallway and promptly tripped on the thick wool carpet lining the floor and landed on her face with a thud. She pushed herself up off the floor muttering to herself about evil rugs and their doom.

She contemplated casting a fire spell on the offending piece of carpet when she remembered why she was in such a hurry. Forgetting all about rugs and it's doom, she sprinted off once again this time more attentive to where she was running.

She burst through the doors that led to Hollow Bastion's library nearly knocking down an older girl clad in a long pink dress. "Yuffie, what's wrong?" Aerith's face etched with worry at the girl's disheveled appearance.

Yuffie gasped for breath, "Nothing's wrong Aerith, look…" She extended her hand revealing a small glowing green orb.

Aerith's shoulders slumped as she let out the breath she had been holding, "Yuffie, it's just materia, why are you so excited? You nearly gave me a heart attack. I thought the Heartless were back or something."

Yuffie rolled her eyes, "Aerith, look again. Do you notice anything different? They're glowing, and that can only mean one thing. Our world has been restored!"

Both girls squealed in delight, jumping up and down with childish glee. At that moment a young man with long russet hair and icy blue eyes confronted them. "Yuffie do have to be so loud? I was trying to read." He glared at her menacingly.

"But Squall, I just found out that our world is back now, see…" she showed him the small translucent orb.

"It's Leon you know that, and aren't you a little old to be playing with marbles?" Yuffie huffed at his comment. "This is NOT a marble it's materia you moron."

Leon gave her a blank stare. She mentally smacked her forehead '_Ah, that's right, He's from a different world. How could I forget that?_ _I guess I feel like he's always been with me.'_ Yuffie shook her head to clear her thoughts.

"We use them to channel magic Leon," interjected Aerith. "But you don't need them anymore since you can cast spells without them, so what's the big deal?"

Yuffie bristled as he spoke, "Big deal!! The deal is that materia contains spells that are much more powerful than the ones we know now, plus they contain a far wider variety of spells than we know. Like this here Barrier materia. Watch this."

The small orb glowed brightly in her hand and after a bright flash the materia returned to normal. Leon smirked, "Nothing happened."

"Oh yeah, then try stepping towards me then," replied Yuffie, looking very smug.

Leon strode towards her unhesitatingly, only to run smack into an invisible barrier and fall flat on his rear.

Yuffie burst out laughing uncontrollably, "Oh this s priceless, I never thought I'd see the day when the _Great Squall Leonhart_ fell flat on his butt!"

Leon's face turned several different shades of crimson as he picked himself up off the floor. "What the &) was that!?"

"It's a shield spell similar to Aero, but much more effective," replied Aerith. She cast an admonishing glance toward Yuffie who ignored her completely. "Yuffie I think you ought to apologize to Leon for doing that to him."

Yuffie wiped a few tears of laughter away, "No way. He deserved it, I warned him. I just wish I had gotten that on tape, oh the possibilities…" She rubbed her hands together maniacally.

Leon could practically see the wheels turning in the teenagers head, as she thought of ways to blackmail him. "Would you like to see some more of my Materia collection Squall?" Yuffie batted her eyelashes innocently at him.

Leon glared daggers at her. "It's Leon, and no I would rather not be subjected to any more of your childish pranks," with that he strode quickly from the room.

'_Does he really think I'm a silly child? Why does that bother me?'_ Yuffie shook her head to banish the strange thoughts that entered her mind. She hung her head ashamed of what she had done to Leon.

Aerith, noticing the confused and remorseful look on the ninja's face and decided to try and cheer her up. "Yuffie, have you told Cid and Cloud about our world?"

"No,why?"

"Well, don't you think they would care about their home too?"

Yuffie's face brightened up at this, her smile lighting up her face. "Yeah, I'll go tell them now!" She ran from the room and slid down the banister to the main hall in search the blonde swordsman and foul-mouthed pilot.

Unbeknownst to her a pair of cerulean blue eyes watched her every movement as she skipped lightly down the hall.

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Soooo, what do you think? Crap, brilliance, or mediocre?

This is my first fic so go easy on me.

It might be awhile before I have the next chapter up, but don't worry it won't too long for the next chapter.


	2. Payback

Leon and Materia Don't Mix

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Disclaimer: …whine (Gala on her knees before Square-Enix)…please? Pretty please with cherries on top? (Gala is dragged out of their office kicking and screaming)…darn, they won't let me even own one little piece of Kingdom Hearts, and all I wanted was the little bell in the hotel lobby. Well next time I'll get something for sure, but until then I don't own the little bell in the lobby, much less Squall. Although getting him would be much nicer than getting a stupid bell.

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Chapter 2: Payback

Squall walked briskly down the hall, briefly stopping in his room to grab his gunblade before heading to the Rising Falls. He almost changed his mind about training when a blast of frigid air hit him as he opened the large oaken doors at the entrance.

He jumped across each floating platforms with ease until he reached the bottom. At the bottom he drew his gunblade and started to slowly swing it in and out making an eight-pattern in the air.

After about 15 minutes of warming up, Squall began to gradually increase the speed of his attacks. He parried against and blocked against imaginary enemies. Nothing else mattered but this moment, his sole focus was on his sword and the energy singing within it as he sliced through the air.

After an hour or so his arms began to tire, ignoring his screaming arms he continued to tirelessly perform his practice routine. Finally when his strength gave out completely, he sank to his knees exhausted and panting heavily. Now that his focus had been broken his thoughts began to wander.

"_Why…why does it have to be this way?"_ Squall gazed up at the sky as to find an answer. _'Why is it I can't think of any good plans to get back at Yuffie? How can she come up with such simple yet brilliant plans to humiliate me?'_

Squall grimaced as he recalled the events that had transpired earlier that morning. Yuffie had really gotten him good, and his own foolish arrogance had only dug him deeper into her prank. He smiled as he remembered the way she had laughed, her happiness seemed to linger even when she was not present.

'_Whoa…where did that come from!? Why do I feel this way?'_

Squall's eyes momentarily clouded over with an insane glint. He shook his fist at the sky, "ARGH! I will get you back for making me feel like this Yuffie!! And when I do it will be a prank more awesome than anything you can possibly conjure up!"

If Yuffie has been there to see the maniacal expression on Squall's face she would have been scared, very scared. This was one determined Squall and he was already planning the demise of the young ninja.

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Cid was working on his latest creation, '_This is going to be my greatest invention yet!'_ He grinned as he wiped his hands on a greasy rag that seemed to be dirtier than his hands. 

"What is that?" Cid jumped at the sound of the blonde swordsman's voice. He quickly covered his project with a canvas tarp. "Uh…nothing really, just some repairs on a Gummi part."

Cloud looked skeptical but decided to drop it. "So do you have that new upgrade done on my sword yet?"

"Sure kid, but I don't know why you bother since the heartless have been gone for a year already." He jerked his thumb toward the back of his workshop, "It's back there you can get it by yourself."

At that moment Cid was tackled to the floor by a small figure. "Hey Old Man, laying down on the job as usual eh?"

Cid pushed Yuffie off him, "Get off me brat! How many times have I told you not to scare me like that?"

"Oh I don't know, every day since I've known you. Why?" She grinned cheekily taking obvious pleasure in annoying the gummi mechanic.

Cloud snickered at her bold reply.

Cid's face turned beet red with anger, "Then why the $# haven't you learned to do what I say!"

Cloud, glaring daggers at the grinning ninja, tried to calm the enraged pilot. "Cid, I'm sure Yuffie will try harder not to scare you in the future. Right Yuffie?"

Yuffie rolled her eyes and waved her hand dismissively, "Yeah, yeah. Sure, anything you say Spike."

Cid grunted in response, "Good, now what were you doing down here in the first place?"

"Oh, I almost forgot, our world is finally back!" She giggled at Cloud's puzzled expression.

"How do you know Yuffie?" He absentmindedly scratched the back of his head, reminding Yuffie of her days spent with AVALANCHE.

"Materia."

"What!?" cried Yuffie and Cloud at the same time.

Yuffie crossed her arms and began to pout. "You mean you already knew?"

Cid shrugged, "I noticed that they were glowing a while ago but I didn't think anything about it. I guess it means the Lifestream is present, thus the Planet with it."

"So can we use Materia here?" Cloud pulled out a small pink orb. "I always carry this with me, the rest is locked away."

Cid opened a small titanium safe in an inconspicuous corner of his workshop. "I have all of mine right here." He stared pointedly at Yuffie, "And it had better stay here."

Yuffie huffed at his statement, "Cid, I only did that to help Wutai out, plus you don't have anything that I don't already have, so your Materia is safe."

Cloud peered over Cid's shoulder to get a better view of his Materia inventory. "So which one should we test to see if it works?"

Yuffie perked up at Cloud's suggestion. "I know which one, here!" She grabbed a small red orb before Cid could protest, a mischievous glint in her eyes. She muttered a few words and the orb began to pulse with light.

A gigantic wave of water formed in the hangar portion of Cid's workshop, and just as if it seemed it would crash down upon them a writhing scaled snake emerged from behind the curtain of water. The Summon known as The Great Leviathan coiled gently beside Yuffie and gave a low grumble as she gently stroked his glistening head.

Cloud and Cid were frozen; both were enraptured by the grandeur of the powerful serpent.

"It's been a long time since I've seen one of our old summons; I forgot how beautiful they are." Cid nodded his head towards the creature respectfully.

"Yeah, it makes the summons Sora has look like toys. Now this is real power." Cloud was already going over the list of summons that he had. "If Sora ever challenged me to a summon battle I would finally win, not like the Coliseum. I swear those tournaments were rigged."

Cid gave an exasperated sigh, "Cloud, he IS the keyblade-master. You think everything is a conspiracy, plus Sora didn't repair his sword with _tape_."

Cloud bristled at his words, "Wha...uh...so what if I used tape? It wasn't like I had very many options in the Underworld. I was going to steal Hades' tube of super-glue but all I could find in his office drawer was a roll of tape."

Yuffie tilted her head, "Hades has an office? How weird is that, I thought he lived in like hell or something. Ya' know with flames and smoke everywhere, some place creepy. But an office is just too…normal, for the god of the Underworld."

Cid stared at her blankly, "Yuffie you have THE most overactive mind. If Cloud had a contract with Hades then it makes sense for him to have an office. You need to use that thing in your head that's called a brain, brat."

"You old fart! I do too use my brain! At least mine is not deteriorating like yours is because of old age!" Yuffie fumed, but mid-rant a small idea popped into her head, like a bubble that bursts on contact. She grinned like a cat that had just cornered an unsuspecting mouse. "And to prove it…"

She turned and whispered to the mighty beast still at her side. Leviathan uncoiled his body stretching up into the air, his multi-colored scales glistening and gleaming like shimmering stars.

Cloud ran as soon as he saw the look on Yuffie's face, she was mad and he didn't want to be caught in the line of fire when she unleashed whatever it was she was planning to do to Cid.

Cid covered his head as Leviathan hovered above him, unsure of what was going to happen. When nothing happened he dropped his arms and looked up, at the same moment a large amount of salty seawater came crashing down on Cid.

It was if time had stopped, no one moved. The only noise heard was the steady drip of water falling off of Cid. Cloud was standing in the doorway his face filled with a mixture of sympathy and amusement at Cid's bedraggled appearance. Yuffie was slightly disappointed that there was no reaction from Cid.

His graying blonde hair was matted to his head and his clothes stuck to him like a second skin. All of a sudden Cid's eyebrow began to imperceptibly twitch.

"Uh, Cid? You okay?" Yuffie edged nervously towards the pilot.

Cid, snapping out of his daze, darted to his safe and grabbed the first summon orb he saw. Ignoring the fact that he had never used this particular summon, he called it.

In a puff of smoke and sparkles, there standing before them was a Giant Mog on a Chocobo.

Yuffie burst out in laughter, "Ha, the weakest summon is all you can come up with! Oh this is too much!" She rolled around on the floor holding her sides which were beginning to ache from laughing so hard.

Cid contemplated her words, and a small smirk appeared on his face. "Oh Yuffie…" he said in a sing-song voice.

"What." She gasped between laughing.

"How fast are you?" His smirk grew wider.

Yuffie stopped laughing and gave Cid a quizzical expression. "Faster than you, I'm the Great Ninja Yuffie. Why?"

Cid turned to the stuffed creature sitting on the giant bird. "Get her," he said, pointing in Yuffie's direction.

The Chocobo warked as it ran towards the teenage girl. Yuffie shrieked and started running around Cid's workshop, the bird and stuffed animal hot on her heels.

"I am so gonna kill you Cid!! AHHHHH!" Yuffie jumped over a table only to trip over a pile of worn out Gummy parts. The Chocobo jumped on top of the table, Yuffie could have sworn it was grinning at her, assuming chocobos could grin of course.

She jumped up and ran behind Cloud, "Cloud, do something! It's going to get me!" She clung to his back like a barnacle on the side of a boat.

Cloud tried to shake her off but it only made matters worse, now she was choking him to death. And on top of that the Chocobo was headed towards Yuffie; and he was right in the line of fire.

Cloud stepped backwards trying to get out the door with the frightened Yuffie still clinging to him. By now he was beginning to get a little nervous, "Yuffie, get off me or I'll take all your Materia!"

The very mention of materia, snapped Yuffie out of her terrorized state of consciousness. "WHAT, don't you dare touch my stuff Spike." She slid off his back and was about to pummel him when the crazed Chocobo came through the door and warked as it saw it's target in sight.

Yuffie wasted no time as she took off in a dead run down the hall, trying to evade the deranged summon. She was beginning to increase the distance when WHAM she ran into something solid. Strong arms reached out to catch her before she fell.

Yuffie opened her eyes that had been tightly shut in anticipation of a fall. Clear blue eyes stared back at her. "Yuffie what exactly are you doing now, if you're trying to play another trick on me it won't work."

"Uh, actually Squall could you let me go, there's something chasing me right now." She glanced nervously down the hall, hoping to get away before the Chocobo could catch up to her.

"It's Leon. Not until you tell me what's going on." To emphasize his point he tightened his grip around her.

"IplayedaprankonCidandnowhe'smadatmeandhesentacrazysummonaftermeandifyoudon'tletmegoit'sgonnagetme!!"

Squall stared blankly at her, "Do you mind repeating that in english please, you're not making any sense.

At that moment Squall heard footsteps in the hallway Yuffie had just come through. He knew it wasn't any of his companions, these sounds were heavier. In fact they were heavier than any human could possibly make.

Squall released Yuffie and pulled out his gunblade, gently pushing her behind him so she would be protected. He fell into his fighting stance as the footsteps grew louder, _'It's almost here. Could it be a heartless? Why was Yuffie so terrified?'_

What came around the corner was the last thing he would have expected, a giant stuffed creature that seemed to be alive, on top of a rather comical looking chocobo.

Squall sheathed his sword and pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation. "Yuffie why are you so scared of a OOMPH. Squall was knocked to the ground by the bird.

Yuffie threw several shuriken at the chocobo, "Leave him alone you overgrown chicken, I'm the one you want!" They hit their mark straight on and the bird and stuffed animal disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

Squall lay on the floor in total shock. _'A toy riding a chocobo that just disappeared_, _great… now I know I'm insane.'_

"Hey Squall...are you okay?" She peered down into his face.

"Leon. I'm fine, what was that all about?" He ignored the hand she offered to him, he brushed his leather pants off before standing up.

"Eh heh, um…Cid got a little bit angry with me so he sent that summon after me."

"A chocobo and whatever was on top of it? That's one of your summons? That's pathetic."

"Hey that's not the only summon I have! I bet mine could whip yours any day." She crossed her arms and glared at him as she said this.

"Whatever…"

"Oh why do you have to be so irritating!" She punched him in the arm and left, angrily muttering under her breath.

Squall shook his head, _'well this has been a very interesting day, but still I don't have any kind of good plan yet. Hm, Cid was able to get back at Yuffie, maybe I should talk to him.' _And with that he headed towards Cid's workshop.

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Hey there, sorry about the shortness of the first chapter. I didn't have very many ideas then. And then it took me forever to get this one written. I'm hoping to update more often now that I don't have as much to do. I took the ACT last Saturday, that was one of the major things that hindered me from working on this.

So enjoy this chapter and look for more coming up soon…

Gala


	3. Forming A Plan

Leon and Materia Don't Mix

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Phew…I am finally getting back to writing. My muse decided to take a vacation, and I just couldn't get this story going again. So here ya go! 

Disclaimer: …I think I'll let my muse do it as punishment for leaving me for so long.

Ren: ME? You want to expose me to the public? I won't talk, you can't make me!

Gala:…I just did.

Ren: Oh. Well anyway, Gala doesn't own anything and frankly I'm glad.

Gala: What! Why?

Ren: Because I want Squall! If I can't have him then you shouldn't.

Gala: Okay you can have Squall, I'll take Vincent.

Ren: Really?

Gala:…no. Now! On with the story.

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Chapter 3: Forming a Plan

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Leon entered Cid's workshop only to find that the foul-mouthed pilot was no longer there. Still Leon walked around the perimeter hoping to find an object that might help him in turning the tables against Yuffie. The only thing that he could see was Cid's odd contraptions here and there and a worktable covered by a tarp. 

As he was about to exit the dark room he noticed a rag in a corner that was…glowing?

"What in the world…?" As he lifted the rag a small yellow marble-like object fell out and rolled under a workbench. "It must be one of those Materia things Yuffie was talking about."

He crouched down to determine how far it had rolled under the table. He saw it glowing faintly in a dusty corner, Leon made a face of disgust as he practically rolled in the grime covering the floor.

"Doesn't Cid ever clean the floor in here?" He tried not to think about what was being ground into his leather pants and jacket. "Just a little bit more…gotcha!"

Leon brushed cobwebs and dust off the glowing orb. The softly pulsating light captivated him, he felt his senses become oblivious to all outside distractions as he gazed into its murky depths.

As he was concentrating on the tiny wonder in his hand a faint whisper no more than a barely voiced idea broke the stillness. The longer his gaze remained transfixed on the orb the louder the voice got, He could hear it clearly now and it was a little unnerving.

He pocketed the orb and strode from the room." There is no way a marble could talk, it was just my imagination. It was probably Yuffie, she might have rigged something in Cid's workroom to scare him. Yeah that's it."

Still feeling a little unconvinced with his theory he shrugged the feeling off and headed towards his room.

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Cloud silently entered the library, taking care not to make any noise. He peeked out from behind a bookcase his glowing blue eyes filled with mischief. He eased around the corner and cautiously approached his pink-clad girlfriend, trying not to make any noise.

Cloud wrapped his arms around Aerith and kissed her on the cheek as she shrieked in surprise. "Cloud, don't scare me like that!" She whirled around and placed her hand over her heart. Cloud only grinned in response, flashing his most charming smile,

"You know you liked it." "I do not appreciate it one bit, I think it's very cruel of you to frighten me like that." Although her tone was hurt, a gentle smile could be seen tugging at her lips.

Cloud pointed to the book she had dropped when he surprised her.

"What were you reading?"

"Oh, just a book about item combining." Cloud gave her a quizzical look,

"Combining? Is that like synthesizing items?"

"In a way yes. Combining is actually an on the spot synthesis, like mixing two items and getting an instantaneous change in the end product. For example, you could combine two items in the middle of a battle and use it right then. It's a much faster process."

Cloud nodded in understanding, "Yuffie just informed us about the Planet, have you heard?"

Aerith smiled, "Yes, I'm so excited. Maybe some of our friends are still alive!"

Cloud's eyes grew troubled, "Cloud, is something wrong?" He shook his head, "No Aer, just trying to move on. It's hard sometimes." She squeezed his hand encouragingly.

"Anyways, Cid said there might be a way to travel there."

Aerith's eyes widened "Really? But…but how? What about the world barriers?"

Cloud shrugged, "He didn't say, he said he'd explain it when everyone was together."

At that moment the library doors swung open, the very air seemed to chill as a very angry Leon strode in.

His eyes were frozen daggers, and his tone seething with anger. "Where.is.she."

Aerith stared at him in total shock, while Cloud was doing his best not to laugh at the infuriated swordsman. Leon was covered from head to toe with various colorful blotches.

Aerith suppressed a smile, "Leon, what happened to you?"

Leon wiped a purple liquid off his chin, "Yuffie set up balloons filled with something in them to hit me as I entered my room, and…" Leon's face contorted in rage, "…she painted my Gunblade…pink."

Cloud examined some of the liquid dripping off Leon, "Uh, Leon. This smells like ink. You better go clean up before it stains your skin. Your sword can be easily cleaned; she's done that to my sword before. I have some solvent you can use on it."

Leon relaxed slightly, "You're sure it will get the paint off?" Cloud nodded and gave him a thumb up.

Cloud burst out laughing as Leon stalked out of the library. Aerith mock glared at him and then dissolved into to laughter as well. Aerith could barely speak she was laughing so hard,

"I think we should wait awhile before we get everyone together to listen to Cid's idea." They both gained a semblance of control over their laughter until they looked in each other's eyes.They continued to laugh long after the pitiful looking swordsman had left the library.

Cid entered the library and observed the couple laughing like maniacs. He shook his head and retreated through the doorway he just came through mumbling to himself. "Kids these days…"

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A/N- Yay! I finally wrote another chapter! Geh, it's been too long. I'm still mad that my chapters are too short, but I'm just starting to write so oh well. I have some excellent ideas for the next chapter. 

Poor Leon, will he be multi colored forever?

Laterz-Gala


	4. Secrets and Revenge

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Leon and Materia Don't Mix

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Ren: Well I guess it's up to me to do the disclaimer…Gala is so lazy.

Gala: WHAT? I wrote the story didn't I!

Ren: Took ya long enough to do it. Can't you see all the poor people that forgot about this fic because you waited so long to post this chapter.

Gala: oh…you are sooooo cruel… Right now I've been bit by the oneshot bug. I've been writing challenge fics from my friends. Sooo to make y'all happy, leave me a review with a character from FF7 or KH, a weapon, and a weather condition. I'll choose the most creative one and write a short fic and put your name in it. That's my punishment for not working harder.

Ren: Now you forgot about the disclaimer. sigh .Gala doesn't own anything, she's a poor college student. She doesn't have any money if you want to sue her. Now READ people!

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Chapter 4: Secrets and Revenge

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Leon walked into one of the few places in Hollow Bastion that had remained unchanged during the heartless invasion. It was a small secluded place, covered in green foliage. Vines covered every inch of the stone walls, the only place that wasn't overgrown with lush vegetation was the well trodden paths.

No one really ever came to this secret garden except for Yuffie. She would always sit in one particular tree, a large weeping willow with branches that gently swayed in the wind. Leon debated just yelling for Yuffie, but changed his mind when he heard a faint sound coming from Yuffie's tree.

It almost sounded like…singing?

Leon walked a little closer as the song became louder. He could see part of Yuffie's yellow scarf amid the bright green branches. He didn't understand the words she was singing, but the language and the tune were so soothing. Leon stood there and closed his eyes, as the song continued he felt his muscles relax and he nearly fell asleep. _"What am I doing? It's just a song, it doesn't even sound like Yuffie. It sounds too…sad, too beautiful."_

Leon cleared his throat and called her name. Yuffie opened her eyes and whipped around so fast she fell off the branch she had been sitting on. Luckily it was a low branch so the fall wasn't that far. "SQUALL! What are you doing here, why were you spying on me!"

Leon narrowed his eyes at her, "It's Leon. Aerith sent me to get you, we're having a meeting. I was NOT spying on you."

Yuffie glared back at him, "You were too, how much of my song did you hear?"

"Most of it. What did the words mean?" His eyes softened for an instant.

"None of your business!" She screamed at him, " Just forget everything you heard, that wasn't for your ears. If you say one word about it I'll…I'll…" Leon smirked at her, "you'll do what." Yuffie stared at the floor so he wouldn't see the lone tear that slipped from her eye.

"Just as I thought, you're full of idle threats, you need to grow up Yuffie. Stop being such a crybaby."

Yuffie clenched her fists in anger, "Yeah, well at least I don't try to forget about the loved ones that I lost. If you ask me, LEON, I think it's pretty childish to try and pretend nothing ever happened. Rinoa's death wasn't your fault! "

For some inexplicable reason Leon felt a stab of pain where his heart was when she called him Leon. He quickly brushed off that feeling and replaced it with anger directed towards the petite ninja. "How dare you even say that name, you know nothing of my pain, my loss."

She stared back at him her eyes haunting and sorrowful, "You weren't the only one to lose loved ones Squall. I lost someone very important to me, but don't care."

Yuffie turned and ran from the garden, leaving Leon standing there speechless. _"I think I went a little too far…"_ he thought to himself.

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Leon entered the kitchen to find everyone seated at the table. He spared a quick glance at Yuffie as he sat down; she stared at her lap, her face void of emotion. The others were too excited to notice her lack of…well…Yuffieness.

Cloud stood up and everyone looked at him expectantly, "I'm sure you are all wondering why we're having this meeting. It concerns all of us and it's very important,"

Yuffie rolled her eyes at him, "Spike just get to the point, we have limited life spans." Cid chuckled as Cloud frowned in annoyance.

"Anyway, you all know that our planet was recently restored, evidenced by the rebirth of our Materia. Cid has been working on a machine that might be able to allow us to penetrate the world barriers." Yuffie and Aerith shared a look of excitement. Cid stood up, chewing on his ever faithful toothpick.

"Now before you all get your hopes up, I'm not entirely sure it will work. I have working model, but nothing beats actually trying it. I have a 'dummy ship', as I call it, that will test whether or not it will work. I am almost ready to launch, I thought you all might want to see it. Just in case it really does work. "

Yuffie frowned at the table, "But what do we do if it does work."

Cloud scratched the back of his head, his sign that meant he was thinking. "Well…if we could make it past the barriers, stress the word IF, then we could go back. Back home." Cloud's eyes glazed over a bit as he reflected on his friends and family that he hadn't seen since the heartless ripped them from him.

Aerith jumped to her feet, nearly knocking her chair over in the process. "What are we waiting for, let's go try it!" Everyone looked at her in shock, Aerith never got this excited. Usually Yuffie would be the one jumping around as if in a sugar induced high. Aerith lowered the arm she had pumped into the air, "Oh, excuse me. I'm a little excited about all this." She sat down, a faint blush on her cheeks.

Leon jumped to his feet, "Yeah! This will be like, soooo totally awesome!" He grinned and giggled as everyone stared at him in shock. Everyone except Yuffie of course, she was trying her best not to laugh out loud in the shocked silence that ensued.

Cloud stood up and felt Leon's forehead, "Are you okay Leon, you're not acting like yourself. Leon merely twirled and started to sing "_I'm a little Teapot"_. Leon grabbed the stunned Cloud's hand, "C'mon Cloudy, let's dance!"

Cloud hit the floor like a sack of potatoes as he lost consciousness. Cid quickly smacked Leon across the back of his head. "Boy, what has gotten into you?"

Leon stumbled forward and stood up straight, his face an expression of extreme confusion. "What's going on? What was that for Cid?" He rubbed the sore spot on his head.

When Cloud had hit the floor Yuffie, unable to quell her laughter anymore, sat laughing like a maniac in her chair. Her laughter broke the trance like state that Aerith had been in when Leon had seemingly gone mad, and now rushed to the fallen Cloud's side.

Cloud sat up groggily, "Please tell me that was a horrible dream."

Aerith only laughed, "I'm afraid not, but I think I know what happened," she whispered in his ear.

By this point Leon was utterly confused as to what was going on, he turned to an amused Cid.

"Don't look at me like you don't know what happened boy. If you decide to go all 'mental' on us again I'll hit ya harder."

Leon turned to the near hysteric Yuffie, "What.did.you.do." He practically radiated an aura of anger, which made Yuffie stop laughing. A deathly silence descended on the room. Leon rushed towards Yuffie, causing her to bolt from the room shrieking as Leon chased her.

Aerith walked over to Yuffie's chair and picked up something off it. She smliled and handed it to Cid. He turned it over in the palm of his hand and burst out laughing.

Cloud frowned in annoyance, "What, what's so funny?"

Aerith grinned in response, "Yuffie used a manipulation Materia on Leon."

Realization dawned on Cloud and he joined the other two people in hearty laughter.

* * *

I love manipulation Materia, heh heh good times in the Northern Crater. Anywho, sorry about the delay. Bless you all! blows kisses

LaterzGala


	5. Launch Time and Threads of the Past

* * *

Leon and Materia Don't Mix

* * *

Ren: Hello everybody! Today I pulled some strings in the realm of imaginary muses and I was able to drag Cloud the do the disclaimer. 

Cloud:…why do I have to do it? Gala made me faint in the last chapter. I look like a wuss.

Ren: Sorry Cloud, I think she got mad when she read that Clouffie fic.

Cloud: CLOUFFIE! 'faints'

Ren: oops…anywho, Gala doesn't own anything, if she did she wouldn't share it that's for sure.

* * *

Chapter 5: Launch Time and Threads of the Past

* * *

Yuffie walked around the gummi ship, flicking it every few seconds a hollow metallic clang echoing throughout the entire ship. 

After about 5 minutes of continual flicking, Cid emerged from the ship practically foaming at the mouth. "YUFFIE! Stop doing that, I can't concentrate when you do that!"

Yuffie grinned sheepishly at him, " Sorry old man, I just can't believe you made it to look like the Highwind. Even if it's a smaller version."

The Highwind II was quite a sight, with it's streamlined cone-shaped silver body, and scantily clad "Lady Luck" painted on the side.

Yuffie cocked her head to the side staring at the voluptuous woman painted on the side of the ship." Cid, who is Lady Luck? Was she a person in real life?"

Cid looked at her, his eyes were filled with a distanced sadness. "Lady Luck is Shera," he chuckled softly. "She looks a lot different without grease covered coveralls on, doncha think?"

Yuffie's eyes nearly bulged out of her sockets, "THAT'S SHERA?" For some reason Yuffie could not picture the quiet, shy, mechanic as brash as the painted Lady on the gummi.

Cid snorted, "Course, I'm the only one who ever saw that side of Shera. She was one wild woman. Brave too, I might not be here today if she hadn't stopped me from launching that rocket with the faulty oxygen tank." Cid slammed the lid down on the engine compartment. "Well I think she's ready. The others should be down here any minute."

Cid's prediction turned out correct, for right as he finished talking Aerith and Cloud, attached at the hip, walked in with Leon trailing behind them.

Yuffie skipped over and bounced beside Leon, "what took you so long?"

Leon merely glanced at a blushing Aerith and Cloud.

Yuffie grinned at Aerith, "Interrupted a special moment huh?"

Cloud scowled at her, while Aerith turned even redder. Cid thwacked Yuffie on the back of the head. "Oww, what was that for you old fart?"

"Fer being annoying, brat." He ruffled her hair and handed her a long electrical cord, "Go plug this in a power outlet somewhere."

"What's it for?

Cid pulled a tarp off a worktable and revealed a console with a joystick and many multi-colored buttons. Yuffie's eyes widened in delight. "Cool…Can I try it!"

Cid laughed, "I knew you'd want to play with it, but maybe later. This is the remote controls for the ship. Instead of using an artificial intelligence program I decided to do it this way, more maneuverability."

Yuffie stared longingly at the controls before grinning impishly at Cid. "So, can I break the bottle of Champagne?"

Cid stared at her in confusion. "Champagne? What for?"

"Don't you usually break a bottle of something, on a new ship? For good luck and stuff?"

Cid laughed, "No, it's a waste. I'd rather drink it and get royally drunk."

Aerith gasped, "Cid! You are not going to get drunk again are you?"

"It wasn't my fault! Somebody spiked my tea." He glared at Yuffie putting special emphasis on the word 'somebody'.

Leon stepped between the bickering pair. "Can we drop this foolishness and get on with launching the ship. I am rapidly loosing interest." He didn't notice the ninja girl behind him mocking his every word; so he became quite angry seeing that Cloud was trying to hide his laughter, thinking he was laughing at him. "Something funny Strife?"

Yuffie put one hand on her hip and shook her index finger in the air, a mad grimace on her face.

Leon noticed movement behind him and turned around to see an innocently smiling Yuffie standing there with her hands behind her back. He turned back around convinced that she was up to something but not quite knowing what.

Yuffie dropped her antics when Cid opened the large hangar door though. The air was filled with excitement as the sun reflected off the silvery surface of the ship. Cid flipped a few switches and the lower turbines kicked on, the airship began to move forward out towards the landing zone.

Everyone followed Cid out as he rolled the control panel, which was on a table with wheels attached to the legs, out of the dark workshop. After warming up the engines the Highwind II rocketed off from the launch pad, like a silver bullet gleaming majestically.

Everyone held their breath as the ship slowed down and strained against an invisible barrier. Cid carefully turned two large wheels together, slowly the ship began to repell the invisible force field. The space around the ship seemed to morph and twist.

Suddenly the Highwind II shot out, unhindered into the fathomless depths of space. Aerith cheered and kissed Cloud full on the lips, causing them both to blush furiously when the noticed the others staring at them.

Cid laughed and shook his head, Yuffie leaned on Leon's arm. "Awwww, they look so cute don't you think so Squall."

Leon shoved her off his arm, "Leon. They're pathetic."

Yuffie narrowed her eyes in mock anger, "Love conquers all! You can't resist it Squall. Your day will come!" She stood on her tiptoes and waggled her finger in his face.

Leon's heart quickened as he realized how close their bodies were. _'What's wrong with me? I've never felt this way around her before…'_

Yuffie blushed and pulled back when she saw the intense look in the older man's eyes. _'Whoa there Squallie…where did that come from?'_

Luckily no one noticed the strange exchange between to Ninja and the Gunblade wielder. Cid carefully brought the ship back into the Hollow Bastion atmosphere and skillfully landed it in the same place it took off from.

Everyone else headed inside the Castle to ponder the next step now that they had the ability to penetrate the world barriers.

* * *

Cloud stood on the balcony that led from the bedroom he and Aerith shared. As the sun set, the fading light caught the tarnished surface of his claw, catching his attention. He was so caught up in staring at it that he didn't notice Aerith's presence until she slipped her arms around his waist. 

She pressed her face against his crimson cloak, her words slightly muffled in his back "What are you thinking about?"

Cloud smiled and turned around, pulling her into a tight embrace, "You. Do you really want to go back to our world?"

Aerith looked up into his glowing blue eyes before answering, "I want to find out what happened to the others." She fingered the edge of his cape, "Why are you wearing Vincent's cape and claw? I didn't want to say anything earlier, but I'm dying to know."

"Vincent gave them to me right before…he said they were a physical reminder of a promise." Cloud clenched his eyes shut.

Worry filled Aerith's bright green eyes, "Cloud I'm sorry I asked, please forgive me…"

Don't be sorry Aerith, I need to get this out. Somebody else needs to know as well, but you can't say anything to Yuffie."

Aerith nodded solemnly.

"Vincent made me promise to protect Yuffie and make sure that she made it out and was looked after." Cloud gestured to his claw and cape, "He gave me these to remind me of my promise."

Aerith choked back a sob, " Did…did Yuffie know?"

Cloud slowly shook his head, "I'm not sure, but I don't want her to hurt any more than she has been."

They remained in each others' arms as the sun slowly slipped below the horizon, eclipsing the pair in shadow. Aerith pulled Cloud into their room and gently shut the door, unknowingly she had eased his burden.

* * *

Heh, heh, hopefully that fills in some of the plot. And as a bonus you got a bit of Clerith fluff. I stink at fluff. Yes I'm sorry for that crap I just wrote…I'm gonna go kill , muse or something…Oh wait if I do that then there would be no story. Gah. Anywho, leave me a review and I might be convinced to write more..better..and faster. The more reviews I get the more I am encouraged to write. 

Laterz-Gala


	6. A Conflicted Past

* * *

Leon and Materia Don't Mix

* * *

Ren: …why do I have to do the disclaimer AGAIN?

Gala: I gave you Cloud but you made him faint, not my problem.

Ren: -sigh- It wasn't my fault.

Gala: -files her nails- Fine. I'll give you someone…

POOF

-A very dazed looking Kairi appears-

Ren: What the? You idiot you gave me HER? She's not even in this story!

Gala: Hey you said you wanted someone so here ya go. –disappears-

Ren: Arghhh…Do the disclaimer girlie, or suffer my wrath!

Kairi: -stares into the darkness- …meep…Sora?

Ren: GAH! Gala I'm going to kill you! She doesn't own anything except a large contract for a beating from me! –pulls out a metal bat and runs after Gala-

Kairi: …mommy…

* * *

Chapter 6: A Conflicted Past

* * *

Yuffie knocked loudly on Aerith and Cloud's door. She laughed when a loud crash emanated from the room. A slightly disheveled Cloud opened the door, an irritated look on his face.

"What's up Yuffie? Shouldn't you be packing?"

For once Yuffie didn't crack a joke or say something in regards to the noises that had come from the room. "I'm not going." She stared at the floor and turned as if to leave.

Cloud grabbed her arm, "What do you mean, you're not going? Why not?"

Yuffie mumbled something under her breath.

Aerith walked up behind Cloud, "Who is…oh hello Yuffie." Her smile fell on seeing the unhappy demeanor on the ninja's face.

Yuffie took a deep breath, "I don't want to go."

Aerith put her arm around Yuffie and shooed Cloud out of the room. She pulled her to a window bench and sat down with her.

"Now, tell me why you don't want to go. Don't you want to see if anyone is alive?"

Yuffie looked up at Aerith with tears in her eyes, "That's just it, everyone I cared for the most…died. I can't go back there, not now."

Aerith consoled the girl the best she knew how, _"I wonder if this has something to do with Vincent."_

* * *

Cloud wandered down to Rising Falls. Leaping nimbly across the floating platforms he paused briefly to feel the chill wind bite across the exposed skin of his face. Cloud suddenly realized that Aerith had pushed him out of the door without his cape. He shrugged his shoulders in indifference, _"No one is down here anyway."_

He actually found that without the crimson cloak, he could move about more freely. Although, he thought, the intimidation factor of the cloak far outweighed the restriction of movement.

Once he reached the bottom he leaned up against the icy wall, and pulled out an old photograph. He lovingly ran his fingers over the images, his digits lingering on one specific figure. "Tifa…" Sometimes when he closed his eyes he could almost see her standing there, hands on her hips and wine-colored eyes sparkling with mirth.

Cloud was startled out of his reverie by a loud splash followed by some pained mumbling coming from the opposite end of the cavern.

A very wet and disgruntled Leon soon appeared. He glared at the blonde swordsman, mumbling about idiotic platforms and loose stones.

Cloud crossed his arms, "What are you doing?"

"I came to train."

Cloud pulled out his buster sword, "Mind if I join you?"

Leon merely shrugged, pulled out his gleaming gunblade and fell into his battle stance; feet spread apart about shoulders width, and body slightly angled to become a smaller target.

Cloud stood nonchalantly with his sword held out in front of him with both hands. He cocked his head and looked oddly at Leon. "Since when did you start in that stance? It looks like Yuffie's."

Leon smirked, "Only the best fighters combine different fighting styles to maximize their fighting capabilities. It's also harder for your opponent to predict."

With that said, Leon ran forward slashing horizontally at head level. Cloud leaned back and parried the blow; he lashed out with his foot trying to trip Leon. But Leon was to fast; he sidestepped the kick and jabbed at Cloud's exposed side.

Cloud barely dodge the sharp point by performing a hasty somersault, he rolled and jumped to his feet and became a blur of black and yellow as he slashed right and left in quick succession. Leon thrust his sword out and the two swords collided with such force, both men felt the vibrations all the way up their arms.

Their swords locked at the hilts, they remained in that position for several seconds. Leon strained beneath the older man's utter strength. Finally as his arms were about to collapse, Leon pulled to the side and brought his sword handle down on Cloud's fingers eliciting a yell from the blonde as he dropped his sword from his numb digits.

"You weren't concentrating, why?"

Cloud sighed as he picked up his sword and ran his hand through his blonde gravity defying spikes, "Yuffie's not coming with us."

It was Leon's turn to look shocked. "Why not? I thought she wanted to go."

Cloud shook his head, "I think it's too painful for her to go back. She lost her entire family when the Heartless came. She acts like it doesn't bother her…"

"…but she calls out to them in her sleep." Leon finished for him.

Cloud merely nodded, "I'm not sure what will happen if we leave her here alone. I just don't want her to get hurt anymore than she has been."

"I'll stay with her."

Cloud blinked in surprise, "Why?"

Leon crossed his arms nonchalantly and brushed imaginary dirt off his sleeve, "I've never been to your world and I see no reason to go now."

A slight smirk formed on Cloud's face, _"This could be a good thing, I know he cares about her. The question is, how MUCH does he care. Now is the perfect time to find out"_

Leon as if reading Cloud's thoughts spoke up, "I'm not doing this for her, I just don't want to hear you and Aerith going at it all hours of the night."

Cloud's face reddened in embarrassment, "Wh-what, we...ah weren't, I have no idea what you're talking about."

Leon pointed to a picture lying on the ground, "Does she know about that woman in the picture."

Cloud glanced down to find the picture he had been looking at earlier had somehow fallen out of his pocket during the fight. "This has nothing to do with Aerith, it's in the past."

Leon stared hard at Cloud, "You still love her, don't you?"

Cloud glanced at the picture guiltily, "A little…we were going to get married. She was pregnant." He gazed fondly at the picture; in it was everyone from AVALANCHE with their respective lovers and partners on Valentine's Day. They had all decided to get together at the Golden Saucer, the giant amusement park in the desert.

Everything was perfect in the picture; everyone had someone to lean on. Even though Yuffie and Vincent hadn't brought anyone to the party it didn't take long for Yuffie to convince Vincent that the loners of the group should at least look like they were having a good time. She ended up dragging Vincent on almost every single ride in the park. As Cloud and Tifa entered the hall where their rooms were located, they happened to see Yuffie and Vincent going into their rooms for the night. They both watched as Yuffie stopped at her door and suddenly kissed Vincent full on the lips and dashed inside her room; her face tomato red. As Vincent turned to go to his room, Cloud could have sworn he was smiling. Yuffie had persuaded the stoic gunman to leave his cloak in the room, how she did that no one will ever know.

Leon's voice broke him out of his reverie. "What are you going to do if you find her? Are you just going to forget about Aerith?"

Cloud stiffened and glared at Leon, "What I do or don't do is none of your business Leonhart." He turned and exited the room swiftly. But a nagging voice at the back of his head refused to leave him alone _"What will I do if she's alive?"_

* * *

Yuffie rubbed her sore lower-back; it was really uncomfortable sitting in the small space behind a statue in the hallway just outside Leon's room. She felt rather embarrassed about her earlier display of emotion; Yuffie couldn't remember the last time she cried in front of someone.

So now she was sitting in this small space waiting for the chance to pull another prank on Squall, not just any prank, one that would earn her a stern scolding from Cloud and Aerith. Maybe they would forget about how weak she was when they got mad. Yes, that was it she'd remind them that she was perfectly fine; nothing affects the Great Ninja Yuffie!

She flattened herself against the statue when she heard faint footsteps coming down the hall. Only instead of Squall it was Cloud, and he looked a little troubled. She considered playing her prank on Cloud but thought better of it. She didn't want him THAT mad.

It wasn't long before she heard footsteps again, only this time she knew it was Squall. There was no mistaking the familiar creak of soft leather and the soft clinking of metal buckles.

She concentrated on the green orb in her hand and willed the spell onto Squall. When the light faded she peeked around the corner of the statue's base and cackled with delight. Oh yes, she was definitely going to be in trouble, just exactly what she wanted.

* * *

Don't you just love cliffhangers? Mwhahahaha

Grakka…I have no idea why this story seems to be getting more and more serious. Sorry about the delay, I just started college and I haven't been able to work on anything game-related. But I have much planned for the next chapter. I just thought of something…are you guys really sure you want the next chapter? I could just leave it like this. Lol, I'm not that evil…ok, maybe I am. Seriously y'all are gonna love the next chapter.

Laterz, Gala


	7. Slippery Situations

* * *

Leon and Materia Don't Mix

* * *

Disclaimer: 

Gala: Oh I am so ashamed to leave y'all with such a cliffy. But unfortunately I got caught up in real world stuff. I started college! YAY! Now comes the hard part. Staying IN college. Grrrr...anywho, I'm just a poor college student who can't pay her own bills much less pay a multi-million dollar software company oodles of noodles for stealing their characters. I don't own anything except my Biology notes and even then most people wouldn't want them...well maybe that hot guys that sits in front of me in Biology might want them...since he's failing the class and I'm not. Heh heh, school is fun...Oo wow, I can't believe I just said that. Anywho on to the next chapter!

* * *

Chapter 7: Slippery Situations

* * *

Leon never knew what hit him. One minute he was walking down the hall and the next he was engulfed in some sort of strange light. When the light faded he found that everything around him looked…bigger? He looked down at his feet and nearly had a heart attack. Since when were his feet green, and webbed? He tried to call out, but all he could manage was a pitiful 'croak.' He was indeed a frog. 

The first thought that came to Leon's mind was _"Yuffie."_ Leon noticed that a statue down the hall seemed to be giggling. What might have been a dozen steps to Leon before now was quite a journey for him as an amphibian. Leon had never been one to suffer from motion sickness but now as he was hopping towards Yuffie's hiding place his stomach felt like it was about to rebel.

After what seemed like an eternity, Leon finally reached Yuffie. Yuffie stared at him in silence for a moment and burst out laughing even harder. Leon in a fit of rage whacked her as hard as he could with his little webbed food, and in the blink of an eye Yuffie was transformed into a frog as well.

If you were to compare the two you would find that Leon was larger, and was a dark shade of green with bright blue eyes; while Yuffie was quite small with a grayish skin and dark grey eyes. Yuffie hopped up and down in an erratic pattern, _"I cannot believe that my plan backfired on me. It was soooo perfect."_

Meanwhile Leon tried to look as intimidating as possible, which wasn't going very well, since frogs aren't the least bit intimidating. Yuffie tried to whine or scream but all it sounded like was something dieing a horrible death combined with a few 'ribbits'. During her rant she remembered something very useful._ "If I hit myself then I can change myself back! Two wrongs really do make a right!"_ Trying to twist her frog face into a smile she punched herself in the head…nothing happened. She stared at her webbed foot in confusion, _"GAH! I'm immune to my own attacks. I guess I'll just have to wait for someone to find us. I could change Squall back…nah, he'd probably just leave me for the vultures." _

Yuffie finally noticed that Squall was giving her his best death-glare, although being a frog kind of negated the fact that he looked like he was about to spontaneously combust. She watched him as he lowered himself closer top the ground and his back leg muscles flexed. _Whoa, Squallie's even hot as a frog!"_ All coherent thought left her brain as she realized that Leon was getting ready for a powerful jump, although they were both amphibians she was indeed, much smaller than him. She took off in the other direction as fast as she could with Leon hot on her heels.

* * *

Aerith hummed softly to herself as she set the mop back into the bucket full of dirty water. Leon and Yuffie were sure to make a mess while she was gone, she might as well have it clean so it would be less work when she got back. Cloud had told her about Leon volunteering to stay with Yuffie. It bothered her slightly that he might be interested romantically in the young ninja, but she quickly brushed that idea aside. Leon didn't like anybody much less love anybody. He was just fulfilling the charge Aerith had given him in taking care of her. It was duty, nothing else. 

Aerith's eyed widened as two frogs hopped through the open kitchen door and all over her clean floor. It seemed like the bigger one was chasing the smaller one. Aerith grabbed the mop by her and charged the frogs. "GET OUT OF MY CLEAN KITCHEN!" She hit the bigger frog but only stunned him momentarily.

As Aerith chased the big frog around waving her mop like a maniac; the small frog jumped out and punched Aerith in the ankle. The mop crashed to the ground smacking the largest frog with the handle. The newest amphibious member was a tiny brown frog with bright green emerald eyes. She sat on the middle of the floor and croaked pitifully, as the other two frogs chased each other in circles around her.

* * *

Cloud was puzzled. Aerith had said she would be ready to go hours ago. Yet he couldn't find her anywhere. He was starting to get worried, Cid was working on perfecting a few last things on his ship but he couldn't find anyone else in the castle. As he passed the kitchen he realized that the lights were on. Aerith never left lights on unless she was in the room, she was very energy conscious. 

The sight that greeted Cloud made him want to laugh and yell at the same time. There were three frogs hopping around in dirty water on the kitchen floor. Apparently they had knocked over a bucket of water that Aerith had probably been mopping the floor with, since there was a mop lying in the middle of the floor.

Cloud unsuccessfully chased the frogs around the room; but was not able to catch even one of them due to the slick floor. He kept falling down into the dirty water on the floor. He looked down at his clothes in disgust, who knew that there were that manydead bugson the kitchen floor.

A stack of medium sized plastic bowls sitting on the counter caught his eye. He slipped twice getting over to them but succeeded at last. Cloud pulled himself up onto the counter and proceeded to fling the bowls at the frogs. He trapped the small brown one quite easily; the other two were more of a challenge. He eventually had to hop down from his dry battle station to gather up his ammunition once more. Merely throwing them wasn't enough, no, these frogs were devious. Devious and very elusive, Cloud had always laughed whenever he heard of the outlandish stories of rare frog collectors. Now he thought of them with a newfound respect.

Hiding behind the table he leapt and managed to trap the smaller gray one which he assumed was Yuffie. It hadn't taken him long to figure out that Yuffie had decided to play a prank on Leon and it had backfired on her and somehow Aerith had got caught up in it as well. At that moment Leon hopped within grabbing distance and Cloud quickly slammed a bowl over him.

When Cloud released the bowl it started to pop up; almost releasing its prisoner. Carefully Cloud scooted the bowls along the floor; soaking his clothes even further in the process. He was able to grab three plates from the edge of the counter and slid them under each bowl. With a tight grip he stacked each bowl and plate on top of each other. He carried the stack of dishes and frogs to the item storage room and set a small box on top of the stack so as to keep them there until he could make a potion for each of them.

* * *

Yuffie stared at her ceiling sighing in boredom. After her little prank that left Aerith traumatized, Cloud had taken all of her precious Materia and confined her to her room. Now on top of everything else they were going to leave her with Leon, of all people, until they returned. Cid had laughed the entire time and had even given her a thumbs up behind Cloud's back. At least someone had found the situation funny, she giggled as she remembered the look on Squall's face after he had been transformed back. He had been practically livid. 

Yuffie contemplated the idea of a person spontaneously combusting due to excessive amounts of blood rushing to the face. If anyone would ever prove her theory it would be Squall. He acted like he had no emotions but deep down he was merely suppressing them. One day the good emotions he had tucked away would surface.

Yuffie wondered what Squall was like when his girlfriend, Rinoa, was alive. She knew that something had happened before she died causing him even more pain, but she was clueless as to what would scar a person so deeply as to make them want to change their name and entire identity.

Her musings were interrupted by Cloud knocking on her door, telling her of their departure. "Yuffie I want you to behave while we're gone. You wouldn't be even staying here if Leon hadn't convinced me that you wouldn't pull any more stupid jokes like the one today. Can I trust you?"

Yuffie grinned and saluted him in a patronizing manner, "Yessir, you can count on me!"

Cloud relaxed and pulled her into a headlock giving her a noogie. "HEY SPIKE, cut that out! Lemme go!" He released her and laughed as she tried to smooth her now tangled hair down. "Don't beat up Leon to much Yuff." He grinned and ruffled her hair again as she scowled at him. She punched him lightly in the arm, "Don't worry I won't do anything drastic until you guys get back."

After Cloud left, Yuffie resumed staring at the ceiling and contemplating the mysteries of the enigma known as Squall Leonheart. For once she resolved to behave, maybe if she tried a different tactic it might catch him off-guard. A devious smile grew bigger on her pixie-like face. "Be scared Squallie, be very scared."

* * *

-sigh- Midterms are almost here, I promise to work very hard so I can relax afterwards and write lots of chapters. If I get too bogged down I might post the first chapter of "Bloody Roses", emphasis on MIGHT. I'm still not sure what's going on with all my stories, curse my overactive imagination. 

Oh btw, sorry about all the spelling an grammar errors. I still don't have a reliable beta reader and I don't have much time to revise. Then it would take about twice as long if I made everything perfect on my own. Once again sorry about all the errors.

Laterz-Gala


	8. Unintentional Problems

* * *

Leon and Materia Don't Mix

* * *

Disclaimer: 

Ren: Well I guess it's up to me do it since Gala's flat on her back with Pneumonia. For once the lowly muse has supreme authoress powers lightning flash and crack of thunder MWHAHAHAHA-cough-HAHAchoke gack...I'm fine! Gala doesn't own anything and if she dies everything she did own will go to me. evil grin

random lawyer pops up

Lawyer: Actually...when Gala had you sign that paper she wrote "My last will and testament" When in actuality, you signed away everything you own to her, including all your Squall plushies.

Ren: NOOOOOOOOO! Curse you lawyers!

**

* * *

Chapter 8: Unintentional Problems

* * *

**

Leon woke up with the sun shining painfully in his eyes. He bolted upright in his bed. Since when did he ever wake up with the sun on his face? Yuffie usually woke him up before 5 just to annoy him. A million horrible thoughts raced through his head as he rushed out his door still clad in nothing but his sweatpants for bed. _"Where in the world could she be? She could be hurt or stuck somewhere..."_

Leon almost had a heart attack when he nearly bowled Yuffie over in the hallway. She was carrying a service tray with...food?

Yuffie smiled at him, "Hiya Leon! Want some breakfast! I was just bringing some up to you."

Leon continued to stare at her dumbfounded, "Since when did you make breakfast?"

Yuffie continued to smile sweetly at him, "I thought I should since I've been so mean to you lately. This is my way of apologizing."

Leon stared at her, suspicion plainly written on his face. "You didn't poison it did you?"

Yuffie pouted and walked into his room setting the tray on a table, "Now why would I do something like that Leon?"

Leon was apprehensive, yet he didn't see any sign of malice in her demeanor. For once Yuffie Kisaragi seemed completely innocent. One thing still bothered him, since when did she start calling him Leon?

After Yuffie left the room, Leon lifted the cover on the tray cautiously. When nothing happened he lifted it all the way and was surprised to find a tempting array of food. There was a colorful bowl of fruit, some kind of juice drink, and an appetizing breakfast roll.

Leon tasted small bites of everything first and could find no fault with it. Yuffie apparently knew how to cook when she wanted too. Yuffie's behavior was very strange, but Leon wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth. If she wanted to treat him nicely and behave like an adult he wasn't going to stop her.

* * *

Yuffie stared at the two monstrous machines in puzzlement. The number of strange buttons and knobs confused her, when Cid had presented Aerith with this 'Deluxe Washer and Dryer Set' she was ecstatic. What was so remarkable about these huge hunks of metal?

She shrugged and shoved Leon's clothes in the washer. Yuffie made a face when she threw his boxers in the washer as fast as she could. "Grossness, I hope he appreciates me doing his laundry." She poured some soap in with the clothes and pressed a few buttons. It's not like the thing would blow up anyway, Cid was a very good mechanic and the things he invented usually ran very well. So Yuffie wasn't too worried about running the giant machines.

So far everything had gone well, only one more thing left on her list of nice things to do for Leon. The only thing left to do was do a little cleaning; she'd done that before so it shouldn't be hard. Now maybe Leon would realize that she wasn't such a brat. She laughed to herself in glee and ran to finish before Leon returned to the castle. Meanwhile...

* * *

As Leon headed back towards the castle a slight pain began to form in his abdomen. By the time he reached his room he was nearly doubled over in pain. Leon made a mad dash for the bathroom and just barely made it in time to the toilet. 

For the next half hour Leon became intimately acquainted with the porcelain bowl. The first thing that came to mind as an explanation for his peculiar intestinal problems was Yuffie. But the question was what in the world did she put into his food?

Leon staggered down to the kitchen and was not surprised to find that the mess Yuffie had made while fixing him breakfast was still there. It was typical of Yuffie to leave things in disarray wherever she went. Leon glanced at all the different foods that she had used and didn't see anything unusual. There was a lot of fruit sitting around. There were grapes, raisins, coconut, mango, figs, and some pineapple.

None of this made any sense until Leon spotted the cookbook sitting next to a large bowl. "The Natural Way to Cleanse the Body" That didn't look too bad until he read the small print at the bottom of the cover which read "The only guaranteed way to a total body cleanse in less than four hours!"

Leon groaned when he realized just exactly what all those fruits had in common. They were all very potent natural laxatives. He considered going and hunting down Yuffie, but didn't have the energy. What sounded really good right now was a hot shower, and then sleeping for a very long time.

* * *

Yuffie was literally skipping with joy; all her self-appointed tasks for Leon were completed and all that was left was to clean up the mess in the kitchen. Yuffie rocked back and forth on her feet as she re-shelved the different cleaning products she had used to clean Leon's room and bathroom.

She was so caught up in imagining what Leon what say when he saw all the wonderful things she did for him that she didn't notice where she was shoving some of the bottles of cleaning solution. Basically if there was an empty spot she just shoved a random bottle in. Having finished that, she ran down to clean the kitchen.

* * *

Leon walked into his bathroom and noticed that it smelled like orange. He knew that Aerith used a citrus mirror cleaner but wondered when she had cleaned it and how the scent had lingered in the bathroom that long. Leon went and turned on the shower only to realize that he was out of shampoo.

Leon sighed and his shoulders slumped at the thought of having to trudge all the way down to the storage room to get some more shampoo.

As Leon was about to enter the storage room a beeping sound emanated from the laundry room. Leon wracked his brain trying to remember if Aerith had told him to remove laundry from the dryer or washer before she had left. Blaming himself for forgetting, he proceeded to open the beeping washer only to find HIS clothes...

He stared in shock at the sight of his underwear and everyday shirts...tinged _pink_.

Leon slammed the washer shut; walked briskly to the storage room and grabbed the first bottle from the shelf labeled 'shampoo'. He was concentrated so hard on not trying to kill Yuffie in his mind that he didn't even notice the label on the bottle in his hand.

Leon slammed the shower door shut and let the scalding hot water run down his back. He nearly ripped the top of the bottle off trying to get it open. Leon poured a generous amount of the viscous liquid straight on the top of his head. As he was trying to lather it into his hair he felt his scalp start to itch. The itching soon turned to burning; Leon snatched the bottle up hurriedly and his eyes widened in horror. The label plainly had "Industrial Strength Bleach" written on it.

Leon jumped out of the shower, nearly tripping in the process, and dunked his head in the sink and turned both handles on the faucet on to max. After sufficiently rinsing his hair until the water turned cold, Leon hesitated to look at himself in the mirror. When he finally found the courage to raise his eyes to stare at the flat piece of crystal he nearly screamed in horror at the sight of his hair.

There were three things that Leon completely obsessed over. The first two were his Gunblade and then his leather. The third was his hair, Leon's hair had the ability to make any woman swoon. And now...just the ends of his hair remained the same as always. The top of his head had a ring of mismatched patches ranging in color from light brown to a white blonde color.

Leon had the extreme urge to cry. He contemplated how a bottle of bleach could have wound up in with the shampoo. After a moment of thought Leon came to one conclusion.

Yuffie.

_Yuffie_ gave him natural laxatives for breakfast.

**Yuffie** turned his laundry pink.

**_YUFFIE _**put the bleach on the shelf.

Leon could feel his temper rising by the second. But unfortunately he couldn't kill her, the Cloud and Cid would kill him...not to mention he didn't even want to think about what Aerith would do.

In a stroke of brilliance Leon remembered about the small yellow orb in his pocket. Leon pulled it out and once again when he stared at it a whisper of a voice echoed in his head. Apparently the orb was broadcasting its use to him. An evil smirk began to grow on his face. Oh yes, there was one way he could get back at Yuffie. He could teach her a lesson and nobody would have to know about it. Yuffie had used orbs like these to torture him, so it just might work on her.

Leon didn't have much trouble finding Yuffie, she was curled up in a ball on one of the couches in the library sound asleep. He crept up slowly behind her and quietly whispered "...morph."

* * *

Okay so I was feeling sadistic, I think my sociology teacher is rubbing off on me. She's very wicked and likes to torture us.

Mwahahaha...can you guess what's going to happen next?

Hope you can stand the wait. evil grin

LaterzGala


End file.
